Happy (belated) Independence Day to all my fellow Americans. Hopefully you didn't eat too many ice cream cones and hot dogs and I definitely hope no one blew of any limbs with fireworks. For those of you that did indulge, you probably hit the gym hard today (or a few times.) Speaking of the gym. . . *dundunduuuunnn*.
I understand that very frequently there are attractive people at the gym. Often I see a sweaty, toned man with a chiseled jawline a la Jude Law, and I feel my heart skip a beat, oh wait, that's just because I'm on the elliptical and I'm wheezing. Personally, I hate when this happens. No, not my erratic heartbeat, the gorgeous guy! For me, the gym isn't the place to get your flirt on and I think that while there may be something alluring about a sweaty man, there isn't anything appealing about a greasy girl.
I know plenty of people who would seize the opportunity. They would push their boobs together (they only wear padded push-up bras to the gym,) pull down their tanks, smooth their hair, and check to make sure they don't have raccoon eyes. Well, that's great for them but unfortunately for some of us that's just not how the situation pans out.
I would gladly push together my boobs, trying to amp up a little cleavage, but I have a half crescent of sweat below each and my stretched out sports bra isn't doing much to help the situation. Perhaps I could pull down my t-shirt but what would the point be-- it's stained, drenched in sweat, and two sizes too big. It would be wonderful if I could simply smooth back my hair but my only option would be to slick it back because I tend to sweat profusely around my hairline. On the upside, I don't need to worry about raccoon eyes because I don't have any eye makeup on! (I know that if you asked anyone who knew me they would tell you how I am a die hard supporter of ALWAYS wearing at least a little makeup; Guys like girls who look their best. I'm not advocating blue eyeshadow and red lipstick from the moment you rise until the moment you fall asleep, but I am saying that putting on some tinted moisturizer, concealer, and mascara wouldn't kill you. My one exception for this is going to the gym. Mascara and tinted moisturizer is a good idea, very safe. Personally I don't like sweating with any sort of face makeup on-- it makes me feel like I'm going to breakout. If I have a blemish though, I will cover that bad boy up. No one likes a pepperoni-face.) Overall my look is not pretty and I'm in no shape to get my flirt on.
So here it is, the question of the decade: Is it a good idea to try to pick someone up at the gym? I say hell no. Personally, I don't want anyone (hot or not) talking to me while I'm sweating my ass off because I'm attempting to lose those last five pounds. It's like they've walked in on some dirty secret of mine. I'm at the gym, trying to lose weight. I want to get a killer bod so that I look hot. That way, when I meet you while I'm wearing makeup and real clothes you're attracted to me! They've skipped ten paces ahead because they've seen me at my most disgusting-- maybe I can talk about my cramps and bloating while I'm at it. If I wanted to be hit on, I wouldn't bother going to the gym. Maybe I would just not eat (yeah, that's right) and go somewhere else... with makeup and sans sweat stained tee.
Finishing thought: For those of you who are what I described in my second paragraph. . . SCREW YOU. You're the reason guys expect us to look hot all the time.
I understand that very frequently there are attractive people at the gym. Often I see a sweaty, toned man with a chiseled jawline a la Jude Law, and I feel my heart skip a beat, oh wait, that's just because I'm on the elliptical and I'm wheezing. Personally, I hate when this happens. No, not my erratic heartbeat, the gorgeous guy! For me, the gym isn't the place to get your flirt on and I think that while there may be something alluring about a sweaty man, there isn't anything appealing about a greasy girl.
I know plenty of people who would seize the opportunity. They would push their boobs together (they only wear padded push-up bras to the gym,) pull down their tanks, smooth their hair, and check to make sure they don't have raccoon eyes. Well, that's great for them but unfortunately for some of us that's just not how the situation pans out.
I would gladly push together my boobs, trying to amp up a little cleavage, but I have a half crescent of sweat below each and my stretched out sports bra isn't doing much to help the situation. Perhaps I could pull down my t-shirt but what would the point be-- it's stained, drenched in sweat, and two sizes too big. It would be wonderful if I could simply smooth back my hair but my only option would be to slick it back because I tend to sweat profusely around my hairline. On the upside, I don't need to worry about raccoon eyes because I don't have any eye makeup on! (I know that if you asked anyone who knew me they would tell you how I am a die hard supporter of ALWAYS wearing at least a little makeup; Guys like girls who look their best. I'm not advocating blue eyeshadow and red lipstick from the moment you rise until the moment you fall asleep, but I am saying that putting on some tinted moisturizer, concealer, and mascara wouldn't kill you. My one exception for this is going to the gym. Mascara and tinted moisturizer is a good idea, very safe. Personally I don't like sweating with any sort of face makeup on-- it makes me feel like I'm going to breakout. If I have a blemish though, I will cover that bad boy up. No one likes a pepperoni-face.) Overall my look is not pretty and I'm in no shape to get my flirt on.
So here it is, the question of the decade: Is it a good idea to try to pick someone up at the gym? I say hell no. Personally, I don't want anyone (hot or not) talking to me while I'm sweating my ass off because I'm attempting to lose those last five pounds. It's like they've walked in on some dirty secret of mine. I'm at the gym, trying to lose weight. I want to get a killer bod so that I look hot. That way, when I meet you while I'm wearing makeup and real clothes you're attracted to me! They've skipped ten paces ahead because they've seen me at my most disgusting-- maybe I can talk about my cramps and bloating while I'm at it. If I wanted to be hit on, I wouldn't bother going to the gym. Maybe I would just not eat (yeah, that's right) and go somewhere else... with makeup and sans sweat stained tee.
Finishing thought: For those of you who are what I described in my second paragraph. . . SCREW YOU. You're the reason guys expect us to look hot all the time.
3:51 PM
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