Slap on the Wrist

        Much too frequently I (along with, I'm sure, thousands others) feel the sensation of being trapped. Trapped by expectations from society, my parents, my peers. Trapped emotionally by my inadequacy in relationships, both romantic and cordial. It's not that I think that the world is an evil place filled with death and destruction although isn't it, in a way? It's more that I don't know who I am and I'm left scrambling in the dark, groping for any sort of identity I can hold on to. Part of me likes this chameleon approach I have towards who I am; I don't feel constrained to one specific personality or look. Another part of me is curled up breathing into a paper bag because I just want to have some sort of game plan; I like being in control but it is impossible to be in control when I have no idea what it is I am trying to control. This sensation of being completely encompassed by self-doubt, insecurities, and a dwindling sense of who I am scares me. I'm afraid that one day I'll wake up and I'll be exactly where I am now: emotionally immature, close-minded, and forever searching for people who will never live up to my standards. I'm wondering if I am as completely insane as I oft feel-- am I destined to be some social nomad, a leper to the rest of society? It isn't uncommon for someone of my age to feel a bit lost, I'm educated and logical enough to understand that much. My anxiety stems from the fact that I see most of my peers taking on some sort of identity, genuine or faux, for the time being. Similar to a fashion trend, they know they like denim so they slip on those skinny jeans for now-- perhaps they will be distressed in two years, or shorts a year after that but they know they are denim. I'm a corduroy blazer with a mustard stain on the sleeve one day and then an evening gown the next. 
         So tell me from your own experience do you ever feel the sense of panic wear off? Will I ever had a strong sense of who I am or will I only learn to adapt to my surroundings? Food for thought.